“Be still prepared for death – and death or life shall thereby be the sweeter.”
William Shakespeare
Death Doula FAQs
What is a Death Doula?
I am a certified, non-medical person trained to support a dying person and their loved ones holistically (physically, emotionally and spiritually) at the end of life. Death Doulas are also known around the world as: end of life doulas, end of life practitioners, end of life coaches, soul midwives, transition guides, death coaches, doula to the dying, death midwives, spiritual midwives or end of life guides.
Do I have to be dying to work with an end of life doula?
No. Any person 18+, at any stage of life, can collaborate with me. The sooner we build our relationship the better! Regardless of how long you or your loved one has left on the journey, creating advanced directives and addressing challenging conversations help manage death anxiety and live a fuller life. No one has to die alone if they don’t want to.
What if someone wants End of Life Option Act / Medical Aid in Dying (MAID)? When do I call an end of life doula?
Now! I accompany folks who choose MAID as their end of life option, in states where it is currently legalized, including California. I am trained in Aid-in-Dying for end-of-life doulas and bedside attendants from American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid-in-Dying (now called AADM - Academy of Aid-in-Dying Medicine). I would be honored to assist your dying day and be a part of your support team.
Do you support clients who choose VSED?
Yes. VSED means Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking. Some clients choose to hasten their disease process and experience the end of life naturally. VSED is the closest option to a natural death. When the body is ill, it naturally begins to shut down the digestion process.
Do death doulas work with hospice?
Yes. Death doulas often work alongside hospice. Hospice staff are generally limited to the number of hours of care due to budgeting and needs assessments. This is where my expertise as a death doula plays the biggest role! Working as a companion with the hospice care team to fill the gap of holistic wants and needs.
Where do you practice as a death doulas?
As a death doula, I practice anywhere I am welcomed, available to assist you where you are! I am a virtual death doula (Tele-Doula) also. In person, I primarily practice in Placer County, El Dorado County, Nevada County and Sacramento County areas of northern California.
How much does your death doula service cost and how do I engage a contract? Who pays for this service?
Peace of mind is priceless. Death doula concierge services are private pay and not covered by insurance. Each end of life process is unique and so is each package created. The initial 30 minute discovery consultation is FREE! Next we determine services desired, estimate hours needed, agree upon hourly rate/package rate, and create a clearly written contract signed by doula and client.
Who certifies or trains doulas?
There are MANY trainings and likely be more as the death doula service grows. The average beginning cost of an end of life course is $750 and up, and can range from a weekend to several months long. Every training varies in what they teach and specialize in. Some courses are natural burial focused while others are more spiritual. This depends on the doula and their areas of practice. I am certified with the International Doulagivers Institute and hold a NEDA Proficiency Badge.
How do I find an end of life doula near me? You aren’t in my area.
I am virtual too, available as a Tele-Doula! Always feel comfortable to contact me for a consultation! I am able to serve in person nationwide with the client covering travel expenses and fees. Additionally, there are several death doula directories that you can search by state. Please refer to the Resources page.
Let’s connect!
Certifications & Training
In progress: CPE training through the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy as a Chaplain/Spiritual Care Intern. The mission is to help people find their unique purpose and meaning in the midst of loss, grief, and perplexity.
Doulagivers Specialist Holistic Non-Medical End of Life Practitioner Certification with Suzanne B. O'Brien, RN who founded Doulagivers and the International Doulagivers Institute
National End-of-Life Doula Alliance Proficiency Badge
The Dying Year Certified End of Life Doula
Aid-in-Dying training for end-of-life doulas and bedside attendants from American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying (now called Academy of Aid-in-Dying Medicine)
Hospice of Amador and Calaveras Volunteer Training
Snowline Hospice Volunteer Training
Journey with a Doula...
End-of-Life Doulas provide non-medical emotional, spiritual and practical support to clients and their loved ones, and fill care gaps before, nearing and during death.
Let’s go on a little journey together, and we’ll show you what navigating death with an end-of-life doula could look like.
Let’s begin.
Starting your journey – Imagine you are walking on a path and you’ve just begun. The fog and mist around you are making it difficult to read the signs and you’re unsure of which paths to take. You have barely started your journey and you’re already completely overwhelmed.
Facing the serious health-related changes of yourself or a loved one can be extremely difficult to navigate. Contemplating mortality is hard enough without the added complicating factors of illness. But you’ve heard about end-of-life doulas, so you take an important step and do some research. You find a doula in your area and after speaking to them, you realize that having their support can help you navigate end-of-life in a compassionate and informed way. So, you make the decision to take the rest of your journey with an End-of-Life doula by your side.
Progress – As you make your way along life’s path with the gentle guidance of a doula, the mist begins to clear around you. You may begin planning and organizing what the rest of this journey could look like, from advanced directives to funeral planning, or even demystifying the dying process. Often, the support of a doula goes beyond just the practical into emotional and spiritual support too. Doulas can help you create a vision map of what matters most to you, your legacy, ceremony, ritual and your social needs as well.
Suddenly, you notice the sunlight shining through the green leaves around you, or the clear water rushing under a bridge. With the help of your doula, you’ve begun to realize how this deep work of contemplating death has given life new meaning that you never expected on this journey. You’ve begun to take action steps toward the things that matter most to you.
Roadblocks & Detours – Journeys aren’t always simple though. You’ve come across a roadblock which can look like inaccessible care or lack of resources. Perhaps your illness has taken a different turn and now it feels like your surroundings are completely different. It can be even more challenging when loved ones in your network don’t understand your choices, even disagreeing and openly defying a choice that is important to you.
Your End-of-Life doula is there to bridge gaps in care support by coordinating with family, friends and other care providers. When it comes to resources, your doula will help you find what you need so you can make informed decisions. They might also help you facilitate important conversations and help you communicate your needs and desires when tensions are running high.
Journey’s End – So, you are nearing the end of your journey. You’ve already planned with your doula what this should look like, who you want present, what comfort measures you want, and even after-death care. You feel at ease as your doula takes your hand and guides you on the path ahead. You don’t stumble. You realize that you have prepared for this moment all your life.
Your doula can’t go all the way to the summit with you, but your path with a doula made the quality of the journey richer, full of healing moments and more comforting than you thought possible when you took your first steps. Your work is done and you reach the summit in peace. Courtesy of Conscious Dying Collective and deathdoulas.com.
Testimonies
"Very Dear Rita,
My heart overflows with gratitude our paths crossed, we spent such high quality time together, and you shared my ultimate journey. Thank you so, so much for all you've done for me! Holy wow indeed! Timeless love."
"Thanks for your support to Jack & Anita, she commented that your 1:1 with Jack meant so much to her!"
"You did so much for Leon. Helping him to do email, games and computer activities. Your love and enthusiasm were so supportive of him."
"Thank you so much for providing comfort and support to Marie. That's a long drive, your visits made a huge difference."
"Your presence was so supportive to Rae, thanks for your caring spirit."
"Thank you for the late night vigil so my father would not have to spend his last hours alone."
Partners
Create "good deaths" by promoting awareness, reducing fear.
Pay it Forward!
Your support and contributions enable me to provide a safe and secure space for discussion and educational events on the subject of dying and death and provide and subsidy for those with limited resources at end of life. Thank you.